Friday, May 10, 2013

Happiness In Marriage... It IS Possible!

My hubby and I have been together twelve years and on May 5, we celebrated six years of marriage! We were the high school couple that many thought wouldn't last, however, each day we share together is better than the first!

In preparation for our ten year high school reunion, we were asked to share some tips on how we have stayed not only married, but happy in our marriage. Here are some points we shared.

When Vernon and I got engaged, we made the pact that divorce was NOT going to be an option. Just not! We have come along way from relying on our weak and imperfect selves to make this marriage a success. We now lean on the Lord and acknowledge our weakness, for His strength to be made perfect. We are relying heavily on our Shepherd, Jehova-Rohi, to make our paths straight. 

1: The Trinity is the foundation of our marriage. We have grown spiritually together and this has proven to be immensely fruitful for us. The Lord has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, so being able to bring anything and everything before the Him, has given us great joy and peace.

2: Divorce is NOT an option! We strongly believe that when people go into marriage with the mindset that divorce will save them if things "dont work out", they will end up divorced. Things inevitably "don't work out" but we decided to fix what's broken, (if anything) rather than to throw it all away. 
3: We follow a hierarchy in our family: God first, us second, kids third. Yes, our children are third. This does not mean we don't love them as much as we love each other, but, we do love them differently than we love each other. 

We believe that too often, the kids come first in marriage; to the detriment of one or both spouses. If either parent is unhappy, surely the kids will be too. Parenting quality declines with unhappiness. We make sure that we are in a good place, and in that, our children flourish.
4: We are each other's best friend. Simple as that, no one comes before either of us.
5: Laugh together often! We still have fun together and being around each other never gets old. 
6: Be passionate! It is not enough to simply love each other fiercely, we make a concentrated effort to show it!

7: Keep Jesus' Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

8: Communicate and listen. Communicate and listen! Really, listen twice as much as you communicate. 

9: Forgive. Not forgive with a caveat, but forgive and keep moving. We are imperfect, but perfectly choose to forgive.

10: No marriage is beyond God's power to heal and save. Now, we're not totally naive. We understand that there will be struggles and there may come a time when we don't find each other so irresistible. However, we acknowledge the One who is omnipotent. Jehova-Rapha is the healer of all; He can heal and mend anything placed before Him. Our marriage is at His feet.

So, how do you stay happy in your marriage? 

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